Whooo Are You.. Who-Who Who-Who?

Dang hard answer to come up with, huh?

Unfortunately, no matter how much trouble it gives you finding this answer – it is extremely important to know in order to understand our behaviors and create any kind of significant change.

That’s why we are going to start here.

We can try anything and everything out there to create a healthy change in our bodies and mind; however, if we don’t know ourselves – it’s going to be dang near impossible to do.

Bringing awareness to the way we view ourselves and what matters most to us opens the door to endless opportunity for change and improvement.

This doesn’t mean we need to be some guru sitting on top of a mountaintop. It just means that we know our starting point.

Who we are. Our strengths and weaknesses. Our talents, interests, and vices. And what we care about.

In order to create change, we must be aware and fully engaged instead of just “sleepwalking” through the process.

What do Darth Vader and Moana have in common?

Other than…

They both have a strong sense of identity/who they are (Dark Lord – Voyager), values/what’s important to them (to rule the galaxy – exploring the open waters), and priorities/what comes first (finding the plans to the Death Star – returning the heart of Te Fiti).

 

Whenever we make any choice, we start from the same deep place: Our sense of self. Who we are.

That’s why you need to ask yourself one question:

Is what you are helping yourself become more of who you want to be?

**** GIF Huh, Mindblown

Identity is neither “good” nor “bad”. It’s just more or less effective, depending on how you apply it.

Each identity brings “superpowers” that you can use for positive or negative things.

Example - Busy Person


Often, we don’t really want what we think we want. We act in apparently puzzling ways that actually hinder our goals. Other, deeper priorities take precedence, and we don’t even realize it.

For example, we think we want to eat healthy, and then find ourselves eating chocolate at 8 pm after a stressful day.

We don’t realize that our deeper goal of “don’t feel bad” has taken priority over our surface-level “eat healthy” goal, so we find our behavior confusing.

Or sometimes, we want two things that seem incompatible, such as time for our family versus time for ourselves.

We feel vague and distracted, stuck in the middle, with no clear plan.

Hence the importance of understanding who we are and what we value. Only then, can we make sure our priorities match that which we value.

Clarity brings action.

When our values and priorities are unclear, we end up conflicted, acting in contradictory ways, feeling confused, and/or just going round in circles. It’s hard to move in a meaningful direction unless we truly know where we want to go, and why we want to go there.

But when our values and priorities are clear and conscious, we have a map for action. We can make thoughtful, smart decisions.

WE CAN CHANGE.

Clarity takes work.

Unfortunately our brains have a little habit of operating subconsciously most of the time. (Remember that TED talk from last week? Check it out if you’ve got a few minutes, it’s some really powerful stuff to understand!)

We don’t always know what we want.

We aren’t always aware of how our biases and perceptions shape our worldview.

(In fact, recent research shows that not only does the brain handle millions of complex decisions, it also actively hides this information from the conscious mind! That sneaky little monkey.)

Figuring out our deeper motivations takes work. 

Why do people change?

Here’s a quick explanation.

People change when there is an emotionally compelling reason for change. Change rarely emerges from logic alone. If it did, no one would smoke, text while driving, or drink more than one glass of red wine per night.

So this tells us that we must identify our emotionally compelling reason. Then empathize with it, understand it, and use it to help move us forward.

Additionally, people change when three things come into alignment:

        Identity: Who/what they think they are

        Values: What is deeply important and meaningful to them

        Priorities: What they feel should come first

Identity: Who are you?

Identity is the story we tell ourselves about who we are, and the character(s) we play in that story.

When we see ourselves as “failures” or “broken”, we will be unwilling to change.

But if we see ourselves as “athletes in training,” “baby ninjas,” or “works in progress”, we will start to seek growth and improvement.

Values: What’s important to me?

Values are the things that are deeply meaningful and important to us — the internal “rules” and core beliefs that govern our life.

For example:

        Honesty is the best policy.

        Family means everything.

        Financial security is essential.

When we value things like athletic performance, health, wellness, being around for our family, and our own sanity, we’re more likely to take action.

Priorities: First things first

Priorities are the things that people put first in their lives.

Here, is where we often see a divergence or gap between surface-level goals and our deeper values. This incongruity between surface and deeper levels is a common source of stress.

For example, “I should look attractive and fit” might be a surface-level assumption; while “I want to feel good, avoid discomfort, and be confident in my own skin” might be a deeper-level desire.

This will be the person who sticks up fitness magazine covers as “inspiration” yet “cannot stick to a diet” and beats themself up for not looking like the picture. Or, the one with six-pack abs that’s constantly pinching their “so-called fat” in utter disgust.

“Uggghhhh! I’ve got to get rid of all this extra flab..”

“GOALS WITHOUT GRAVITY HAVE NO WEIGHT.”

Even if you hit these surface-level goals, you won’t feel satisfied or successful in your own mind, because the goal was not meaningful, it’s just something you felt you “should” do.

So now, lets anchor down and zoom in on what really matters.

In determining your own goals for body transformation and nutrition improvement, you must begin with identity and values.

In terms of long-term performance, the enjoyment of alighning  one’s own deeply held values with that which you prioritze  always beats external validation.

Here is a cool exercise that asks you to explore how your goals flow from your identity and values.

This will also help your behaviors match who you are and who you want to be… not what and who you think you “should” be.

How to complete today’s task.

Your identity is neither “good” nor “bad”. It’s just more or less effective, depending on how you apply it.

Each identity brings “superpowers” that you can use for positive or negative things.

For example, one of your identities could be that of a caretaker.

A negative use of this superpower towards your own goals would be: “I take care of everyone else. There is just no time to take care of myself.”

On the other hand, a positive use of this superpower could be: “I take care of everyone else. My family and friends know how much I love them. I will choose to priortize my own health because I know that it is required in order to be able to give my best to the ones I love.”

To get a better idea of who you are, try filling in the blanks:

  • I’m the kind of person who ____.

  • Growing up, I was always the one who ____.

  • People who love me would say I’m ____.

  • People who don’t like me would say I’m ____.

  • My coworkers would say I’m ____.

  • If I was going to draw a picture of myself, it would look like ____. (What the heck, doodle a self-portrait!)

Now, ask yourself:

How do my identity and my “superpowers” affect my behaviors?

 

“Wisdom begins with awareness, of the self and the world outside the self; it deepens with the awareness of the inherent tension between the inner ‘I’ and the outer world.”
—Stephen Hall

Take some time this week to really reflect on, and even write down, your identities and values. Then give yourself an honest evaluation of whether or not your priorities are matching up with that.

Spoiler alert! Not many, if any at all, have fully aligned our identity, values, and priorities to the best of our abilities. So, what is one small change you could focus on this week to move something up or down the priority list?

*|FNAME|*, you are a superhero with the power to reach any goal that you truly desire. 

In all sincerity,
-Nate Burditt
Owner/Head Coach

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